I recently came across Lifehack's post on 11 things to avoid in 2011.
Since one of my reverb 10 prompts was about 11 things to let go of in 2011, I was quite interesting in this article... and got some ideas as well while reading it.
What especially drew my attention were the following topics on the list:
4. Assuming that you always know the entire story
You don’t. Ask more questions. Listen. Ask more questions. Give yourself an out and don’t back others into corners when you give your final answer.
Too often I interrupt, and I have the horrible habit of interrupting when someone asks me a question. I hear a key word and I start answering, and I realized it really bothers. It gives a very bad impression too, when I do this at the end of a presentation during the Q&A.
With friends and loved ones, too, I often feel the need to relate to their story to tell a similar story of something which happened to me or which I heard before. Unfortunately, that makes me sound as if I don't care and want to drag the attention towards myself.
6. Blaming anything on gender
For example: I was in an argument recently (imagine that!) and my partner in the argument forcefully uttered the remark, “typical male!” in response to something I said that was admittedly unkind (imagine that!). This created a predicament in which my subsequent apology would be not just for my comment but also for my gender. I can’t change my gender (really, not an option) so I’d be apologizing for being myself. Crazy, right? She doesn’t do that because she’s a woman. She does it because she’s an imperfect human. He doesn’t do that because he’s a man. He does it because he’s an imperfect human. Things are simpler when we approach conflict with as few stereotypes as possible.
Such an approach will change things. I promise you.
I wish gender wouldn't be so much of an issue, but it's tangibly there, all the time. I regularly feel uncomfortable just for being young and female. I shrink down when students look surprised at me, showing their disbelief that I am going to explain them something. It is as if everyone needs to have an opinion about me, before even looking at the work I actually do. It doesn't help me that I am so aware of this. I'd like to ban the idea of "what are they now thinking of me" from my head and just trust in myself and the value of my work.
10. Not asking for help
You’d be stunned if you knew just how many people are ready and willing to help you if only you’d clearly define your need and directly ask for help. Don’t ask for help like the friend who begs people to help him move but has nothing put in boxes when they show up. Ask for help like the friend who has done everything in his power to achieve and needs only that final push from a buddy to reach success. We want to be a part of your success!
One of my challenges for 2011 is to gather my courage and ask for what I need, whether that is help, input of ideas or the permission to present somewhere. We have a saying, which, translated, would be something like "No you always have, yes you can get." I'll try to live by that a bit more, and let go of my fear to disturb or upset someone.
... random thoughts on the process of doing a PhD, research on shear in reinforced concrete and everything remotely related to this...
Showing posts with label reverb10. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reverb10. Show all posts
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Reflecting on Reverb10
I just went over my Reverb10 posts again, as suggested by the day 31 prompt.
One thing I've noticed is that I've started to allow myself to write about different topics. Initially I started this blog to share what I've learned so far while doing my PhD, and quite soon I started writing about how I experience the process of doing a PhD, and how this effects my life. For that reason, I needed to turn to a more personal style of writing and open up some more of my personal life into this blog.
Another thing I've noticed, is that I seemed to be writing shorter posts towards the end of the challenge. This might be because I wanted to finish up the challenge because I took a few weeks off. However, I think the most important reason is that I made the most important discoveries about the past year while writing out the first prompts. I spent a fair amount of time reflecting and thinking about the first prompts before I started writing about these, and by the time I reached the later prompts, I felt like I was mostly repeating myself.
In general I can conclude with the following observations which I made while rereading these posts:
1. I've gathered the necessary tools.
I've attended all possible trainings and workshops over the past year, and I worked myself through a massive amount of self-development and life-hacking blog posts. I've learned a lot through all of this, and I've been brewing my own success potion out of it (as for now, recipe is subject to change ;) ). With all these tools within my reach, I feel that I am now much more able to tack the difficult tasks ahead.
2. I've gained an active attitude.
2010 clearly was the year in which I started to take matters into my own hands and push my project forward. I might have been pushing with all my energy but in a random direction, but at least I've found myself bustling with energy. In the first few months of my PhD I was not sure of what was actually expected from me, and I was too passive. Now that I see my project as entirely my responsibility, with the highly appreciated input of my supervisors, I feel much more in charge and much more motivated.
3. Creativity is part of myself...
... and I need to make time for it. I have no idea about how my brain actually works, but I want to try out to see what happens if I allow more time for creativity in my life. I expect that creativity will grow on me again like a certain habit, and that I will find it easier to come up with creative ideas in my research.
4. I should trust myself.
Even though I have started to learn to right skills and know how to improve, I sometimes doubt and find myself overthinking situations and fearing all possible failures. I should just trust in what I've learned, and that I really know what I am doing since I am the expert of my very own topic. This is a point for improvement and I will work on this in 2011.
5. New year's resolutions
-> Focus and concentrate:
I need to get up from my office and go out for a walk, I should train my focus by meditation and mindfulness and I should try not to be so easily distracted anymore.
-> Communicate more clearly:
I need to learn how to convey my message in a clear and direct way, avoiding all the strange constructions I typically use in order to sound polite, while actually obscuring my key point. I also want to let go of the fear to go and ask for something. Getting a "no" is really not the end of the world.
-> Cultivate the creativity habit
By taking more time to play music and write, I want to train my mind to think out of the box more often and come up with original ideas.
Overall, I can conclude by writing that I am very grateful of participating in the Reverb1 project. Usually I never reflect on my past year, don't make resolutions and just let everything the way it was. I hope this challenge and reflection will help me work on achieving my goals.
One thing I've noticed is that I've started to allow myself to write about different topics. Initially I started this blog to share what I've learned so far while doing my PhD, and quite soon I started writing about how I experience the process of doing a PhD, and how this effects my life. For that reason, I needed to turn to a more personal style of writing and open up some more of my personal life into this blog.
Another thing I've noticed, is that I seemed to be writing shorter posts towards the end of the challenge. This might be because I wanted to finish up the challenge because I took a few weeks off. However, I think the most important reason is that I made the most important discoveries about the past year while writing out the first prompts. I spent a fair amount of time reflecting and thinking about the first prompts before I started writing about these, and by the time I reached the later prompts, I felt like I was mostly repeating myself.
In general I can conclude with the following observations which I made while rereading these posts:
1. I've gathered the necessary tools.
I've attended all possible trainings and workshops over the past year, and I worked myself through a massive amount of self-development and life-hacking blog posts. I've learned a lot through all of this, and I've been brewing my own success potion out of it (as for now, recipe is subject to change ;) ). With all these tools within my reach, I feel that I am now much more able to tack the difficult tasks ahead.
2. I've gained an active attitude.
2010 clearly was the year in which I started to take matters into my own hands and push my project forward. I might have been pushing with all my energy but in a random direction, but at least I've found myself bustling with energy. In the first few months of my PhD I was not sure of what was actually expected from me, and I was too passive. Now that I see my project as entirely my responsibility, with the highly appreciated input of my supervisors, I feel much more in charge and much more motivated.
3. Creativity is part of myself...
... and I need to make time for it. I have no idea about how my brain actually works, but I want to try out to see what happens if I allow more time for creativity in my life. I expect that creativity will grow on me again like a certain habit, and that I will find it easier to come up with creative ideas in my research.
4. I should trust myself.
Even though I have started to learn to right skills and know how to improve, I sometimes doubt and find myself overthinking situations and fearing all possible failures. I should just trust in what I've learned, and that I really know what I am doing since I am the expert of my very own topic. This is a point for improvement and I will work on this in 2011.
5. New year's resolutions
-> Focus and concentrate:
I need to get up from my office and go out for a walk, I should train my focus by meditation and mindfulness and I should try not to be so easily distracted anymore.
-> Communicate more clearly:
I need to learn how to convey my message in a clear and direct way, avoiding all the strange constructions I typically use in order to sound polite, while actually obscuring my key point. I also want to let go of the fear to go and ask for something. Getting a "no" is really not the end of the world.
-> Cultivate the creativity habit
By taking more time to play music and write, I want to train my mind to think out of the box more often and come up with original ideas.
Overall, I can conclude by writing that I am very grateful of participating in the Reverb1 project. Usually I never reflect on my past year, don't make resolutions and just let everything the way it was. I hope this challenge and reflection will help me work on achieving my goals.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Reverb10 - Day 31: Core story
December 31 – Core Story
What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)
(Author: Molly O’Neill)
Smile, and the world will smile at you
In other words: think positive.
I try to always think positive and take the challenges which are on my way, although I am often confronted with my own thoughts of fear and doubt.
I try to share some sunshine with the people around me, knowing that if they feel warm and supported, I too will feel warm and happy.
Look at the beauty of the world, the joy of every day's little indulgences.
I remember that in secondary school, we had to stick some paper to our backs and have our class mates write what they think about you and your strengths on it. One of them wrote: "enjoying life at the fullest." I was the student who would open to windows to enjoy a little bit of sunshine during class, who would close her eyes and smile because the spring sun is shining on our faces during lunch break. And that characteristic has always been with me, but it has been pushed to the background the past few years.
I hope that, now that I realize this, I can bring this ability back and enjoy every little reason to smile.
What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)
(Author: Molly O’Neill)
Smile, and the world will smile at you
In other words: think positive.
I try to always think positive and take the challenges which are on my way, although I am often confronted with my own thoughts of fear and doubt.
I try to share some sunshine with the people around me, knowing that if they feel warm and supported, I too will feel warm and happy.
Look at the beauty of the world, the joy of every day's little indulgences.
I remember that in secondary school, we had to stick some paper to our backs and have our class mates write what they think about you and your strengths on it. One of them wrote: "enjoying life at the fullest." I was the student who would open to windows to enjoy a little bit of sunshine during class, who would close her eyes and smile because the spring sun is shining on our faces during lunch break. And that characteristic has always been with me, but it has been pushed to the background the past few years.
I hope that, now that I realize this, I can bring this ability back and enjoy every little reason to smile.
Reverb10 - Day 30: Gift
December 30 – Gift
Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?
(Author: Holly Root)
Another hard prompt for me. I am inclined to immediately pick an emotional gift, since these have the largest impact on me. The continuous love and support of my boyfriend, family and friends are the ground in which I am rooted. But a gift itself should be more defined, a more precise moment or action.
I received beautiful presents on all occasions during the past year, which I all cherish very much.
Other than that, I find it very hard to pick the best gift out of all these.
Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?
(Author: Holly Root)
Another hard prompt for me. I am inclined to immediately pick an emotional gift, since these have the largest impact on me. The continuous love and support of my boyfriend, family and friends are the ground in which I am rooted. But a gift itself should be more defined, a more precise moment or action.
I received beautiful presents on all occasions during the past year, which I all cherish very much.
Other than that, I find it very hard to pick the best gift out of all these.
Reverb10 - Day 29: Defining moment
December 29 – Defining Moment
Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.
(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)
My confidence has grown this year over a series of events.
1. I moved to a much nicer place, which makes me feel much happier and relaxed.
2. I had to opportunity to present my research a few times, and I received some encouraging feedback
3. My supervisors suggested that I start writing a journal paper.
Number 2 and 3 filled me with a mixture of fear (I hope this won't go wrong) and excitement (Awesome! I really want to do this). I've put the fear to the background and have drawn the card of the challenge, which made my confidence grow after each little success.
Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.
(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)
My confidence has grown this year over a series of events.
1. I moved to a much nicer place, which makes me feel much happier and relaxed.
2. I had to opportunity to present my research a few times, and I received some encouraging feedback
3. My supervisors suggested that I start writing a journal paper.
Number 2 and 3 filled me with a mixture of fear (I hope this won't go wrong) and excitement (Awesome! I really want to do this). I've put the fear to the background and have drawn the card of the challenge, which made my confidence grow after each little success.
Reverb10 - Day 28: Achieve
December 28 – Achieve
What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)
I want to learn how to concentrate and focus better
With so many distractions around, and juggling several major tasks at the same time (series of experiments, writing papers, preparing conferences, supervising students, random people showing up at my door), I find it very hard to actually turn away from the world and concentrate on one single task.
Even on moments when I am with my office door closed, and no appointments coming up within the next few hours, I still feel my thoughts going all over the place. I am doing one task, the another task comes into my mind, then I open a folder on my computer to do something, think of something else and note it down, and by the time I turn back to my screen I've forgotten why I actually opened that folder.
I would really love to learn how to silence all the background noise in my head (all advice is greatly appreciated) and work straight on with a single task. It is possible, sometimes I feel I am totally "in" my task and don't notice my surroundings and random thoughts. But those moments are very rare.
I imagine that by achieving this goal, I will feel calm, less stressed and in control. I hopefully will make better progress, and as a result, I will feel satisfied with my efforts.
Ten things to do and thoughts to think to feel calm are the following.
1. Meditate
One of my new year's resolutions (which I am still making, and for which I will make a certain set of goals) is to pick up meditation again. Training my mind to focus will help me concentrate on my work more as well, I hope.
2. Practice mindfulness
In the PhD training course which I am taking, we practice mindfulness exercises every meeting. It has a great effect on me. Still, I feel the need to learn more about it, actually get a book to work with. I'll combine this with my meditation efforts.
3. Do not act out of fear
Too often I feel I am being held back by the fear of "doing something wrong" or "being seen as stupid" or "being considered impolite" or "being too demanding". As a result, I end up sitting in my office, thinking about all random possible other solutions, and feeling stressed out. Once I start to retrace why I am not just getting up from my chair, knock the right door and get on with it, I can trace the fear hidden behind my actions.
4. Sleep, exercise and eat healthy food
Mens sana in corpore sano. I can't concentrate and feel all calm and focused when I am feeling tired due to a lack of sleep, an overdose of sugar or a lack of exercise. I too often cut back on all these though, because I try to fit too many activities into one day.
5. Prioritize
Knowing what is the most important thing to be working on at a certain time, and more precisely: knowing what is my most important thing to be finished at a given day, makes me feel more calm. I know what is most important, and which other tasks need to be sent to the background.
6. Eliminate distractions
I find it still very hard to concentrate on something, while I am expecting a reply e-mail or when all kinds of alerts start popping up onto my computer screen. In the bast case, I just can switch off my computer screen and work with pen and paper on my desk. But the amount of time I can do this before I return to my screen to quickly check when it will rain or whether my e-mail was replied, is deplorably short.
7. Let go of perfectionism
It takes me so much energy in trying to be perfect and have every detail completely finished and polished before I show it to someone else. I will feel much calmer if some day I can let go of this.
8. Spend time on reflecting about goals
Knowing how I am progressing and seeing the little successes along the way, while keeping in mind the bigger picture, will help me to feel more calm. With a clear planning and list of goals, I can see how much I have already done and what is still left to be done. It gives me a less biased overview of my real progress.
9. Celebrate successes
I need to stop and celebrate whenever I reach a milestone. Too often I just think "Alright, this is done, let's rush on to the next task", while it would give me some peace of mind to realize that I've actually completed an important step forward.
10. Stop trying to please everyone
Hard one, but a lot of what I have going on in my head are small tasks I need to do to help someone else out. Too often, I also worry what others think of me, which takes a lot of my energy. I actually only want to care about what my loved ones think of me, and how I can nourish these relations.
What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)
I want to learn how to concentrate and focus better
With so many distractions around, and juggling several major tasks at the same time (series of experiments, writing papers, preparing conferences, supervising students, random people showing up at my door), I find it very hard to actually turn away from the world and concentrate on one single task.
Even on moments when I am with my office door closed, and no appointments coming up within the next few hours, I still feel my thoughts going all over the place. I am doing one task, the another task comes into my mind, then I open a folder on my computer to do something, think of something else and note it down, and by the time I turn back to my screen I've forgotten why I actually opened that folder.
I would really love to learn how to silence all the background noise in my head (all advice is greatly appreciated) and work straight on with a single task. It is possible, sometimes I feel I am totally "in" my task and don't notice my surroundings and random thoughts. But those moments are very rare.
I imagine that by achieving this goal, I will feel calm, less stressed and in control. I hopefully will make better progress, and as a result, I will feel satisfied with my efforts.
Ten things to do and thoughts to think to feel calm are the following.
1. Meditate
One of my new year's resolutions (which I am still making, and for which I will make a certain set of goals) is to pick up meditation again. Training my mind to focus will help me concentrate on my work more as well, I hope.
2. Practice mindfulness
In the PhD training course which I am taking, we practice mindfulness exercises every meeting. It has a great effect on me. Still, I feel the need to learn more about it, actually get a book to work with. I'll combine this with my meditation efforts.
3. Do not act out of fear
Too often I feel I am being held back by the fear of "doing something wrong" or "being seen as stupid" or "being considered impolite" or "being too demanding". As a result, I end up sitting in my office, thinking about all random possible other solutions, and feeling stressed out. Once I start to retrace why I am not just getting up from my chair, knock the right door and get on with it, I can trace the fear hidden behind my actions.
4. Sleep, exercise and eat healthy food
Mens sana in corpore sano. I can't concentrate and feel all calm and focused when I am feeling tired due to a lack of sleep, an overdose of sugar or a lack of exercise. I too often cut back on all these though, because I try to fit too many activities into one day.
5. Prioritize
Knowing what is the most important thing to be working on at a certain time, and more precisely: knowing what is my most important thing to be finished at a given day, makes me feel more calm. I know what is most important, and which other tasks need to be sent to the background.
6. Eliminate distractions
I find it still very hard to concentrate on something, while I am expecting a reply e-mail or when all kinds of alerts start popping up onto my computer screen. In the bast case, I just can switch off my computer screen and work with pen and paper on my desk. But the amount of time I can do this before I return to my screen to quickly check when it will rain or whether my e-mail was replied, is deplorably short.
7. Let go of perfectionism
It takes me so much energy in trying to be perfect and have every detail completely finished and polished before I show it to someone else. I will feel much calmer if some day I can let go of this.
8. Spend time on reflecting about goals
Knowing how I am progressing and seeing the little successes along the way, while keeping in mind the bigger picture, will help me to feel more calm. With a clear planning and list of goals, I can see how much I have already done and what is still left to be done. It gives me a less biased overview of my real progress.
9. Celebrate successes
I need to stop and celebrate whenever I reach a milestone. Too often I just think "Alright, this is done, let's rush on to the next task", while it would give me some peace of mind to realize that I've actually completed an important step forward.
10. Stop trying to please everyone
Hard one, but a lot of what I have going on in my head are small tasks I need to do to help someone else out. Too often, I also worry what others think of me, which takes a lot of my energy. I actually only want to care about what my loved ones think of me, and how I can nourish these relations.
Reverb10 - Day 27: Ordinary Joy
December 27 – Ordinary Joy
Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
(Author: Brené Brown)
1. biking around
After adjusting to the actual biking and building up some stamina, I've noticed that I really started to enjoy my bike rides. On pleasant spring days, I've been biking around, enjoying the mild weather, while getting some exercise and being able to sort out my mind.
2. sleeping early, waking refreshed
I've come a long way since the days when I used to feel awesome when I'd go to bed at 6 am. Nowadays, I enjoy the days when I can sleep at 10pm (those very rare days), and wake up in the morning feeling all refreshed. I often want to put too many activities into my day schedule, and end up cutting back on sleep. As a result, the next day, I'll be fighting my afternoon dip, trying to stay awake and not progressing as fast as I would like to.
I started to note down the hour at which I go to sleep two days ago, hoping this will encourage me to go to bed before 11pm (so I get my 8 hours of sleep).
Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
(Author: Brené Brown)
1. biking around
After adjusting to the actual biking and building up some stamina, I've noticed that I really started to enjoy my bike rides. On pleasant spring days, I've been biking around, enjoying the mild weather, while getting some exercise and being able to sort out my mind.
2. sleeping early, waking refreshed
I've come a long way since the days when I used to feel awesome when I'd go to bed at 6 am. Nowadays, I enjoy the days when I can sleep at 10pm (those very rare days), and wake up in the morning feeling all refreshed. I often want to put too many activities into my day schedule, and end up cutting back on sleep. As a result, the next day, I'll be fighting my afternoon dip, trying to stay awake and not progressing as fast as I would like to.
I started to note down the hour at which I go to sleep two days ago, hoping this will encourage me to go to bed before 11pm (so I get my 8 hours of sleep).
Reverb10 - Day 26: Soul Food
December 26 – Soul Food
What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
(Author: Elise Marie Collins)
Nothing tastes as good as raspberries do. But since there is not much of a story the write about my deep love and addiction to raspberries, I've decided to move on to the next prompt.
What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
(Author: Elise Marie Collins)
Nothing tastes as good as raspberries do. But since there is not much of a story the write about my deep love and addiction to raspberries, I've decided to move on to the next prompt.
Reverb10 - Day 25: Photo
December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself
Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
(Author: Tracey Clark)
I both like and dislike this prompt. It makes me mostly doubt whether I want to have a picture of me here or not, and what kind of picture it should be. I often feel that I don't look like the serious engineer I would like to be, and feel that certain people don't take me serious.
Recently, though, I started to realize that it doesn't really matter how people judge me based on their first impression. All I can do is to try and prove them wrong by showing what I've done and what I am doing.
Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
Picture taken by Synart, close to Barendrecht, the Netherlands.
The picture was taken without me noticing it. We had taken some pictures of me standing in the river, and while I was coming out and I was talking, this picture was taken. It shows me in nature (which I enjoy so much), smiling (which I do a lot and enjoy a lot) and talking gently to the photographer.
Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
(Author: Tracey Clark)
I both like and dislike this prompt. It makes me mostly doubt whether I want to have a picture of me here or not, and what kind of picture it should be. I often feel that I don't look like the serious engineer I would like to be, and feel that certain people don't take me serious.
Recently, though, I started to realize that it doesn't really matter how people judge me based on their first impression. All I can do is to try and prove them wrong by showing what I've done and what I am doing.
Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
Picture taken by Synart, close to Barendrecht, the Netherlands.
The picture was taken without me noticing it. We had taken some pictures of me standing in the river, and while I was coming out and I was talking, this picture was taken. It shows me in nature (which I enjoy so much), smiling (which I do a lot and enjoy a lot) and talking gently to the photographer.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Reverb10 - Day 24: Everything's OK
December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
(Author: Kate Inglis)
I've come across little encouraging moments. The first, and probably most noteworthy was the first PhD course which I took last February.
Finally, other aspects of doing a PhD were discussed. A young assistant professor talked about her experiences. I learned that it is normal that sometimes your progress is slower than expected, or that sometimes it is hard to find your motivation. These were true eye-openers for me.
I thought it was all about stamina, and having "weak" moments was a flaw only seen in "weaker" students. Little did I know about the whole PhD process.
After this course, my own search continued. I read a few books, enrolled for another PhD training course which goes deeper and attended some workshops to sharpen my soft skills. Bit by bit my understanding of the entire process of doing a PhD has been growing, and likewise my confidence in my own research and myself (at least a bit) has grown.
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
(Author: Kate Inglis)
I've come across little encouraging moments. The first, and probably most noteworthy was the first PhD course which I took last February.
Finally, other aspects of doing a PhD were discussed. A young assistant professor talked about her experiences. I learned that it is normal that sometimes your progress is slower than expected, or that sometimes it is hard to find your motivation. These were true eye-openers for me.
I thought it was all about stamina, and having "weak" moments was a flaw only seen in "weaker" students. Little did I know about the whole PhD process.
After this course, my own search continued. I read a few books, enrolled for another PhD training course which goes deeper and attended some workshops to sharpen my soft skills. Bit by bit my understanding of the entire process of doing a PhD has been growing, and likewise my confidence in my own research and myself (at least a bit) has grown.
Reverb10 - Day 23: new name
December 23 – New Name
Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
(Author: Becca Wilcott)
I've been thinking a couple of minutes about this question, and I can't seem to find an answer to this. My name is fully part of myself and describes my identity. I went by a nickname until I was about 17, and my parents and family still call me with my nickname, but my given name feels more like a part of my adult self.
Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
(Author: Becca Wilcott)
I've been thinking a couple of minutes about this question, and I can't seem to find an answer to this. My name is fully part of myself and describes my identity. I went by a nickname until I was about 17, and my parents and family still call me with my nickname, but my given name feels more like a part of my adult self.
Reverb10 - Day 22: Travel
December 22 – Travel
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
(Author: Tara Hunt)
This one I covered in a previous post.
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
(Author: Tara Hunt)
This one I covered in a previous post.
Reverb10 - Day 21: Future self
December 21 – Future Self.
Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
(Author: Jenny Blake)
Myself in five years from now
In five years from now, I will have finished my PhD, and will be living and working in yet another country, together with my boyfriend and two cats. I'll be fluent in Spanish and carry out research and receiving feedback from international fellow researchers. -That's what I hope for-
Advice to my current self
Look at the bigger picture, and don't waste too much time and energy on the little details. Work day by day towards the real goals, and learn to say "no" to little activities which take up too much of your time.
Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self
Don't try to grow up so fast, enjoy the ride, take the chances that come along the way. Don't be so stressed about what is coming next. Enjoy every moment, don't wander off too much into thinking about the future.
Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
(Author: Jenny Blake)
Myself in five years from now
In five years from now, I will have finished my PhD, and will be living and working in yet another country, together with my boyfriend and two cats. I'll be fluent in Spanish and carry out research and receiving feedback from international fellow researchers. -That's what I hope for-
Advice to my current self
Look at the bigger picture, and don't waste too much time and energy on the little details. Work day by day towards the real goals, and learn to say "no" to little activities which take up too much of your time.
Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self
Don't try to grow up so fast, enjoy the ride, take the chances that come along the way. Don't be so stressed about what is coming next. Enjoy every moment, don't wander off too much into thinking about the future.
Reverb10 - Day 20: Beyond Avoidance
December 20 – Beyond Avoidance.
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
(Author: Jake Nickell)
Be direct in my communication
Today, I was reading some handouts about communication, and more in detail about giving and receiving feedback.
One advice really drew my attention: no soft soap. The author wrote that, the more you talk around the message, the smaller the chance the other person actually understands your need.
Too often I've felt that people are neglecting my questions and need for help or advice. However, I never realized that this is caused by the fact that I never dare to state how important or urgent something is. All this is because I am afraid to be impolite or too demanding.
In fact, when formulating clearly what I need and when I need it, I simply convey my message in a clear way. When I need something, I shouldn't be afraid to ask for it.
In the end, one of the goals of a PhD project is to learn from your advisor, which is only possible when you ask him/her questions.
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
(Author: Jake Nickell)
Be direct in my communication
Today, I was reading some handouts about communication, and more in detail about giving and receiving feedback.
One advice really drew my attention: no soft soap. The author wrote that, the more you talk around the message, the smaller the chance the other person actually understands your need.
Too often I've felt that people are neglecting my questions and need for help or advice. However, I never realized that this is caused by the fact that I never dare to state how important or urgent something is. All this is because I am afraid to be impolite or too demanding.
In fact, when formulating clearly what I need and when I need it, I simply convey my message in a clear way. When I need something, I shouldn't be afraid to ask for it.
In the end, one of the goals of a PhD project is to learn from your advisor, which is only possible when you ask him/her questions.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Reverb10 - Day 19: Healing
December 19 – Healing.
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
(Author: Leonie Allan)
I've been trying to gradually switch to a healthier lifestyle, and I've noticed the healing influence on my mind and body. On the other hand, after 3 weeks of traveling, dining out and celebrating the holidays, I feel without energy, chubby and less cheerful.
Even though I made progress in 2010, there is still a lot of room for improvement in 2011.
- I want to manage to have my mind at easy and my thoughts less scattered;
- I would like to eat more healthy and wholesome food; and
- I want to continue the exercise routine I built up over the past 4 months.
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
(Author: Leonie Allan)
I've been trying to gradually switch to a healthier lifestyle, and I've noticed the healing influence on my mind and body. On the other hand, after 3 weeks of traveling, dining out and celebrating the holidays, I feel without energy, chubby and less cheerful.
Even though I made progress in 2010, there is still a lot of room for improvement in 2011.
- I want to manage to have my mind at easy and my thoughts less scattered;
- I would like to eat more healthy and wholesome food; and
- I want to continue the exercise routine I built up over the past 4 months.
Reverb10 - Day 17: Lesson learned
December 17 – Lesson Learned.
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
(Author: Tara Weaver)
In 2010, I took quite a number of workshops and trainings about personal leadership and personal development. Most workshops gave me some important tools which are necessary when doing a PhD, but one course went much deeper.
In that course (which is not completely finished yet), we are a group of 6 PhD students and a coach. The big eye-opener for myself in that course was when I came to realize that the real source of all little distractions and disturbances is not more than a coping mechanism. It helps a bit to use more tools, plan better, keep track of your time. But as long as there are these underlying thoughts and doubts, you will not advance as well as you would like.
During the exercises in the course, I've managed to get to know my own pitfalls. I have learned so much about myself, and how certain of my personality traits cause me to act in certain ways.
The next step, also in the course, is to write out a plan of action. With all I've learned about myself in the back of my head, I now need to move forward and see what I can improve. I plan to work on this plan of action some time late January, early February. And as I wrote before, I will use this blog as a place to reflect on my progress.
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
(Author: Tara Weaver)
In 2010, I took quite a number of workshops and trainings about personal leadership and personal development. Most workshops gave me some important tools which are necessary when doing a PhD, but one course went much deeper.
In that course (which is not completely finished yet), we are a group of 6 PhD students and a coach. The big eye-opener for myself in that course was when I came to realize that the real source of all little distractions and disturbances is not more than a coping mechanism. It helps a bit to use more tools, plan better, keep track of your time. But as long as there are these underlying thoughts and doubts, you will not advance as well as you would like.
During the exercises in the course, I've managed to get to know my own pitfalls. I have learned so much about myself, and how certain of my personality traits cause me to act in certain ways.
The next step, also in the course, is to write out a plan of action. With all I've learned about myself in the back of my head, I now need to move forward and see what I can improve. I plan to work on this plan of action some time late January, early February. And as I wrote before, I will use this blog as a place to reflect on my progress.
Reverb10 - Day 16: Friendship
December 16 – Friendship.
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)
This year has been mostly about myself. It might sound strange, but I've been mainly listening to my own goals, planning them out for myself, and pursuing my dreams. Of course I value the support and love of my friends highly, but I've been very attached to my own feelings this year. I've had to sort out certain things for myself, shake myself, and then put myself on the rails for the direction I've wanted to take.
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)
This year has been mostly about myself. It might sound strange, but I've been mainly listening to my own goals, planning them out for myself, and pursuing my dreams. Of course I value the support and love of my friends highly, but I've been very attached to my own feelings this year. I've had to sort out certain things for myself, shake myself, and then put myself on the rails for the direction I've wanted to take.
Reverb10 - Day 15: 5 minutes
December 15 – 5 Minutes.
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
(Author: Patti Digh)
1. Travel
I recently read that we value experiences higher than objects (I can't find the article back though). In 2010, I've been traveling a fair amount, while still having the time to enjoy the experience of traveling. I traveled for holidays, I traveled for business (first time!) and I traveled to see my transatlantic boyfriend.
2. Finding direction (work and personal)
As I wrote before, I came to terms with my situation, and I started to get myself together and work towards my goals. Complaining and being discontented won't bring you anywhere and will only make you feel more down.
3. Feeling at home
I've become comfortable with my new home, my new country, my work environment and my PhD.
I admit, I needed 8 minutes in total for this post, instead of 5.
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
(Author: Patti Digh)
1. Travel
I recently read that we value experiences higher than objects (I can't find the article back though). In 2010, I've been traveling a fair amount, while still having the time to enjoy the experience of traveling. I traveled for holidays, I traveled for business (first time!) and I traveled to see my transatlantic boyfriend.
2. Finding direction (work and personal)
As I wrote before, I came to terms with my situation, and I started to get myself together and work towards my goals. Complaining and being discontented won't bring you anywhere and will only make you feel more down.
3. Feeling at home
I've become comfortable with my new home, my new country, my work environment and my PhD.
I admit, I needed 8 minutes in total for this post, instead of 5.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Reverb 10 - Day 14: Appreciate or How I came to terms with my situation.
December 14 – Appreciate
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
(Author: Victoria Klein)
It's not just one thing I've ended up appreciating in 2010. It's my entire situation.
I've come to terms with and I've started to appreciate the positive parts of all these facets of my current situation:
- my choice of topic and university,
- the independence I get in my research,
- living in Delft and the Netherlands,
- my housing situation,
- being far from my boyfriend.
Let me break this down and discuss more.
1. my choice of topic and university
I've let go of (or better: I'm trying very hard to let go of) all the "what if"s that I kept thinking of. What if I had stayed in the US and looked for a job and waited until the economy would be better? What if I'd have applied to another university?
2. the independence I get in my research
I started to appreciate the trust and independence I get here. I think this is one of the main factors that makes doing a PhD at TU Delft special. You really learn how to become a fully independent academic who can set up a research program all by himself. (But sometimes it can get really lonely and hard).
3. living in Delft and the Netherlands
I guess I have digested my culture shock (home vs. the Netherlands) and reverse culture shock (moving from the US back to Europe) by now. Delft is pretty, and the North Sea is near.
4. my housing situation
Early 2010 I left my campus room and decided to take over a previous generation of PhD students their apartment and look for roommates. Now I feel like I have a home, and not that I am camping in a temporary transition phase anymore.
5. being far from my boyfriend
Saying that I appreciate this part of my current situation would be too much, but at least I've accepted the situation.
What I've learned from all this is that it definitely doesn't help to keep dreaming of (doubtfully) better options. I've taken a decision to come here and do a PhD and I'd better make the best out of it. I've noticed that I started to enjoy living here much more when I gave up on being grumpy about this entire situation.
To express my gratitude for the situation I am in, I have started to cherish and indulge in all positive parts I can see in this situation. Most of all, I feel relaxed in my house (and I notice my cat has become much calmer and less stressed than before too).
For 2011 I hope I can further develop this appreciation. Enjoying the time I am spending here should be one of the keys to a better balance, and thus more productive time to do research.
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
(Author: Victoria Klein)
It's not just one thing I've ended up appreciating in 2010. It's my entire situation.
I've come to terms with and I've started to appreciate the positive parts of all these facets of my current situation:
- my choice of topic and university,
- the independence I get in my research,
- living in Delft and the Netherlands,
- my housing situation,
- being far from my boyfriend.
Let me break this down and discuss more.
1. my choice of topic and university
I've let go of (or better: I'm trying very hard to let go of) all the "what if"s that I kept thinking of. What if I had stayed in the US and looked for a job and waited until the economy would be better? What if I'd have applied to another university?
2. the independence I get in my research
I started to appreciate the trust and independence I get here. I think this is one of the main factors that makes doing a PhD at TU Delft special. You really learn how to become a fully independent academic who can set up a research program all by himself. (But sometimes it can get really lonely and hard).
3. living in Delft and the Netherlands
I guess I have digested my culture shock (home vs. the Netherlands) and reverse culture shock (moving from the US back to Europe) by now. Delft is pretty, and the North Sea is near.
4. my housing situation
Early 2010 I left my campus room and decided to take over a previous generation of PhD students their apartment and look for roommates. Now I feel like I have a home, and not that I am camping in a temporary transition phase anymore.
5. being far from my boyfriend
Saying that I appreciate this part of my current situation would be too much, but at least I've accepted the situation.
What I've learned from all this is that it definitely doesn't help to keep dreaming of (doubtfully) better options. I've taken a decision to come here and do a PhD and I'd better make the best out of it. I've noticed that I started to enjoy living here much more when I gave up on being grumpy about this entire situation.
To express my gratitude for the situation I am in, I have started to cherish and indulge in all positive parts I can see in this situation. Most of all, I feel relaxed in my house (and I notice my cat has become much calmer and less stressed than before too).
For 2011 I hope I can further develop this appreciation. Enjoying the time I am spending here should be one of the keys to a better balance, and thus more productive time to do research.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Reverb10 - Day 13: Action
December 13 – Action
When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
(Author: Scott Belsky)
My main aspiration is to find my focus. I need to learn how to focus in many different ways.
1. Focus my concentration
The action I should take here is to train my concentration. I get disturbed easily by noise in the hallway, and people walking in and out of my office.
Next time when my office gets too busy, I will go to the library and read in silence there.
Then another problem is that my concentration, when not influence by outside factors, can be really bad. I'm never able to concentrate longer than 20 minutes, but these days my thoughts drift off after 5 minutes, or less.
I have to train my concentration by taking up meditation again, and by reducing my stress-levels.
2. Focus on my topic
I have collected all papers that might in some way be relevant to my research. To really work through these would take me too much time. I need to set days for speed-reading and sieving the valuable information out of my giant stash of information, and I should do this rather fast.
I have a very broad interest, but I should start narrowing down and develop my theory during the course of 2011. I should stop flying around loose ideas and working on bits and pieces but pick something and work it out thoroughly.
3. Focus on what matters in life
... and let go of what I do not need in 2011.
When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
(Author: Scott Belsky)
My main aspiration is to find my focus. I need to learn how to focus in many different ways.
1. Focus my concentration
The action I should take here is to train my concentration. I get disturbed easily by noise in the hallway, and people walking in and out of my office.
Next time when my office gets too busy, I will go to the library and read in silence there.
Then another problem is that my concentration, when not influence by outside factors, can be really bad. I'm never able to concentrate longer than 20 minutes, but these days my thoughts drift off after 5 minutes, or less.
I have to train my concentration by taking up meditation again, and by reducing my stress-levels.
2. Focus on my topic
I have collected all papers that might in some way be relevant to my research. To really work through these would take me too much time. I need to set days for speed-reading and sieving the valuable information out of my giant stash of information, and I should do this rather fast.
I have a very broad interest, but I should start narrowing down and develop my theory during the course of 2011. I should stop flying around loose ideas and working on bits and pieces but pick something and work it out thoroughly.
3. Focus on what matters in life
... and let go of what I do not need in 2011.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)