Sunday, February 13, 2011

The importance of good communication

I haven't been writing much lately, nor have I been doing my best at meditating, getting enough sleep, focusing and all the other good plans I had for 2011. I've been stressed out and tense for the better part of the past month, with more and more tension until now.

The reason for this is that there was tension between me and one of my roommates. There's no need for me to write out here what went wrong, but I've learned an important lesson from this conflict.
Talking can make you avoid a lot of trouble.

And that is probably one of the main reasons why tension between two people sharing a house has led to a friendship being completely ruined.
I tried twice to have a serious conversation in which we would be able to look for solutions all together, but we barely exchanged any thoughts. And the tension remained.
I tried again last Thursday, after several days of being sick in my stomach, proposing a temporary solution, and I only got a reply of "We might look into that." And then I was ignored and they (roommate and husband) were staring at their laptop screens again.

To their friends and family, of course, they have been portraying me as a horrible person who has done them terribly wrong. However, I really wish they would realize that they could have avoided a lot of problems when they would have shared their ideas with me and would have let us find a good solution. My roommate changed her planning (what we agreed upon before she moved into my apartment), and her current planning is basically non-existent. This already led to a lot of doubts for me, as I had no idea what we would be up to in our house.
Some good communication could have saved all of us from the stress this situation brought us.

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